Papercuts
by DXM Junkie
Summary: Have you ever wished upon a papercut? AU. InuKag. Drug Abuse/Anorexia
1. Crazy

_Papercuts_

Chapter One: _Crazy_

I stare into his eyes.

They are an exotic blend of amber and tranquil thoughts, laced with unspent anger and hurt from a past which should have not been his own.

His lips move and I nearly miss what he said; "You here again?"

I give a rye smile and divert my own eyes. "I've lost count."

Smiling softly to the point of being a sarcastic smirk, he nods and sits next to me on the uncomfortable couch. It is a grey color that's been worn thin. Patterns of flowers that are now mere indents in the fabric poke through in areas. I trace the patterns with my finger.

We sit there in silence, listening to the sounds of crying people and yelling nurses. In the background someone is begging to go to the vending machine. She is probably one of those overweight people who was sent here by over-involved parents.

"Why you in here again?" He asks me. His voice is thick, rich even. It's a tenor's voice. Soothing. One of those voices that read books on cassette tapes so people can read them in their cars well on a long drive.

My finger stops tracing the patters.

I look over to him. His eyes are upon mine.

"You tell me." I say.

He gives a smile that's a little more gentle. I look forward and yet again we fall into a silence. There are windows around this room, each with bars on them. They are so dirty that light barely shine's through. The walls are a pasty white. I watch a girl dance beneath a window. She is twirling, twirling. She is wearing a white gown with the back open. She is very thin.

Little bootie shoes with pink hearts on them adorn her feet. They are spinning round and round. I suddenly feel warmth on my hand. Looking down I see his palm is spread upon mine.

He caresses my fingers rubbing each with the pad of his thumb.

Then, he takes my long shirt sleeve and lifts it up, only a little, but enough to see them. These horrid things. I retract my hand quickly from his and hold it to my chest. I glare at him, but it is not a mean glare. He is still smiling softly. I watch the fuzzy white ears on his head shift slightly.

I say nothing and turn my head back to the girl who was dancing. She isn't anymore. I see three nurses sprawling over her, stabbing a needle into her barren arm. She is screaming. It's a loud sound, but to me I can barely hear it. He is now watching too.

A lady walks towards us. She is wearing the normal nurse's wardrobe. White medium length skirt with a white blouse. Her hair is in a ponytail and she is really pretty. A cross necklace adorns her neck.

"Inuyasha," She says her voice soft, "Dr. Kamitoshi will see you now."

He nods and stands up. Walking over to the nurse, he looks back at me, "They will never take your freedom away." He whispers, and it seems his words are only meant for me, "Never forget that."

I nod, but am sure that I look confused. What could he mean by that?

I watch as the nurse grabs his arm and direct him down the hall and through two doors. The doors have small windows in them, but they are tinted. Onlookers can peer in, but we may never look out. Above the door a small sign to far up for reach reads, "_Tsukiru Ward_."

I wonder silently why that boy, Inuyasha, is here.

Than I am recalled to why I, myself am here. I do not belong here, not at all. I'm a normal Japanese girl! Looking down at my filthy arms, I recall the way I gave myself these papercuts.

Now, because of the, I am here where I do not belong.

"Miss Higurashi," another nurse says, this one is rather short but has friendly eyes, "The Director of this institution will see you now." I feel my body stand up, but my soul isn't. I am really still sitting on that old, grey couch, tracing patterns with my finger.

As we walk, the woman shows me things that I already know of. I remember them from my last 'visit' as mother calls them. The bedrooms, the bathroom, (Complete with security cameras in each) and finally, the Naughty room. I shiver as we pass that.

The nurse pulls out an ID badge card and swipes it through the scanner. The light beeps twice then she pushes open the door.

As we walk down the stairs, one by one, I find my hands tracing the texture on the walls.

"...and Miss Higurashi," She says, gaining my attention, "Welcome to the Tsubasa facility."

I am a normal girl, really.

They say I'm crazy, but I'm not. I just see more of truth than they do. I know they will ask me the same questions as always... Why? Why? Why?

But they would never understand why I do this. Nobody could ever understand it. How can I explain in words the feeling it gives me, when all's they tell me is that I don't know what I'm talking about?

My name is Kagome Higurashi and I'm not crazy.


	2. Screams

Chapter Two: _Screams_

:---:

Dr. Kamitoshi is a gentle looking man, but in a warn out sort of way.

His once black hair is now very thin, and it seems to me it is a little greyer then what I remember. His eyes are a cool brown. Very icy, but has sparks of warmth. I remember that he was one of the few staff members I liked from my last 'visit', and I verify this by the warm smile he gives me when I enter the room.

The nurse who had brought me here is now standing outside of the door, guarding it like a warrior would a fragile princess.

She had seemed to be on high-alert, but I suppose that will dissipate once he has closed the door.

"Hello Miss Kagome Higurashi." He says, but I am not listening. I am searching around his office. Looking at the different things there is to see. The bookshelf with many pages filled with knowledge I will never perceive, a picture frame with a degree from some university, a oak desk that has many circle's on it from spilled coffee, probably when he was bent over looking at files for 'visitor's' during the middle of the night, struggling to see...

"Come, sit over here." He motions towards a leather chair seated in front of his middle-of-the-night-coffee-stained-desk.

There is a picture frame on it. I lean and see a petite blonde haired woman, probably in her mid thirties. She is pretty, and I want to ask who she is, but refrain from commenting.

Dr. Kamitoshi, or Doctor K as he told me to call him during our first meeting, pulls out a yellow white folder from a place that I cannot see. He gives me another friendly smile and starts talking, but I feel too enthralled with looking around to pay much attention.

What I received from his talking, was the same thing he told me before. The rules. There are many of them here. You must be in bed before 11:55, you have to eat all meals regardless if you are here for an eating disorder or not, you may not fool around, you may not touch anyone else, you may not hide any sort of objects that can cause bodily harm, you may not throw up, you can only take prescription drugs that they have approved and give you themselves.. the list goes on a on.

As he speaks, I notice him fall silent and regain my attention. I look over at him. He is giving me a grandfatherly type worry look.

"You know the routine, Kagome-san. I will talk with you if you have any problems, but for now you have to go to Ms. Mitoshi and talk with her once a week."

Frowning, I looked away. He was obviously never told what that freak had done to me. Or maybe he was, but failed to see how hurtful it had been. She was no shrink that I would ever speak to again.

"I know you do not have a grand relationship with her, but please Kagome-san, trust her. Can you do that for me?"

I gave a long cold stare. He seemed to be a bit unnerved by this, but he caught every word of what I had barely whispered, "You can never trust someone when they think you're crazy."

Standing up, I turned towards the door. Good Ol' Doctor K just remained silent.

:---:

The nurse took me back up the stairs and into the locked wing that people could watch in a safe, faraway room, but where you can never escape.

She leads me down the white hallway and into one of the rooms without doors. They allow you no privacy here, and because of that there are even surveillance cameras in the rooms. On the wall there is a green plastic sign that now reads my name along with a "Miss Sango Hirikotu, Age 17, Drug Abuse Resident."

I snort softly when I read my name, "Miss Kagome Higurashi. Age 17. Self Abuse and Anorexia Resident." Within the first hour I arrive, I am already neatly labeled and put away behind a black door.

I enter the room and the nurse leaves me. I see my suitcase on the floor and can already tell that they have gone through it. The room's all look the same so it's no mystery to me where everything is, but my roommate has yet to arrive.

I open my suitcase and look through it, taking clothing out. I turn at a knock on my door and see a girl, very much my age, who has to be Sango. She looks very baked.

She stands there reading the sign for a moment, before entering and giving me a smile. "Hey, Kagome Higurashi, Self Abuse Resident."

I smirk. I have a feeling that she will grown on me. "Nice to meet you as well, Sango Hirikotu, Drug Abuse Resident."

She walks to her bed. It is adjacent to mine. Both beds are covered in terribly itchy comforters. Sango has decorated her wall with posters of punk bands. She has a mirror next to the wall with, in lipstick, "I will not instigate revolution or kill nurses."

As she is sitting down I take a good look at her. She has brown eyes and black hair as all Japanese do, but she is rather tall. She has eye-shadow on in a pink shade and almost obnoxiously red lipstick. The same color that is on the mirror. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she is wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of blue-jeans.

She has on a pair of raspberry flip-flops thought it's only May and still very cold out. She is staring at me as well, but her look is not hostile.

My last roommate wouldn't even say a word to me, but back then I was ok with that. Now, I was glad she was talking.

"You don't look like an anorexia patient."

I smirk slightly again. "I'm not. But, get this, I open my suitcase to get out the Twix bar I packed this morning before I left and they took it away. An anorexia patient losing her fatty, cholesterol filled food. God, they say were crazy."

Sango gives and all-out smile this time. It's very becoming on her. "I think you'll fit right in. You want a grand-tour of 'el-prison-ward-for-de-crazy?'"

"Don't need it. I've been here before."

"Really? When was that?"

"About a half-year ago. How 'bout you?"

"I've been in her for almost two months now, but this is my first visit. I'm actually shocked; I heard no one gets out."

I nod, "It's rare. Even thought I thought I had finally proved to them I wasn't crazy, I do a few bad things and boom, boom I'm here."

"Damn. Well," She told me, glancing up at the clock, "It's almost time for dinner. I suggest the best ways to do the disappearing food act would be to stick it either in your shoes or up your sleeve's if you can."

We both stand and I give her a formal handshake.

"I got that down already. That was pretty much the first think I learned about surviving her except that you shouldn't ever piss of Ms. Mitoshi."

As we walk down to the dinning area, or what I remember it to be, we share a laugh and I feel the joy that we have shared our first inside joke. But as we go through the lobby and to the left I see him again.

Inuyasha.

He is leaning against the wall his arm out, having the nurse take his blood pressure. I notice now that his arm is really thin. And his veins look rather pulsing. He catch's my eye, winks, and looks away.

What he said to me before ricochets off my mind like a bird trying to be freed of its cage; "They will never take your freedom away." I whisper this.

Sango looks over at me and she nods. She heard me.

"Nobody can ever do that." She whispers back, "Because no matter what they say, we know that we are not crazy."


	3. Fake

Chapter Three:_Fake _

:---:

As we enter the main eating hall I feel a little flashback of when I was last here. I see my sister, Kikyo, sitting next to me as we chat about some random thing. A few ray's of light shine down from the window, and for some reason, this past looks brighter.

Idle people are walking around it. Kikyo's food is untouched. I can remember her begging me to eat it because she was one of those anorexic people. She always wanted to be thin like the people in those magazines or like anime characters.

Though Kikyo's personality and mine clashed like oil and water, we were so close. She was outgoing and very friendly. I remember that she joined as many clubs as she could well I just stuck to my book club and art club.

Well she was almost annoyingly talkative, I chose silence. I was always the one who sat in her room and held her well she cried about being dumped. Frowning, the image before me faded and all's I saw was a bleak grey room with tables and metal chairs.

I felt my throat beginning to burn as if someone had pounded needles into it.

Forcing the good memories and the bad out of my already depressing mind, I looked over at Sango. 'Think Happy.' I told myself.

"So, I wonder what horrible food they have so lovingly prepared for us to shove down our throat-holes."

Sango gave another rich laugh. "I hope it's not their ham things!" I smiled. We walked to the single file line that had a sharp turn in it and led towards an open area.

The window that was at the end had an older male in it with a normal white apron on and a white hat-thing. In the background a few other older people where putting different articles of food on treys.

They would continue to just go back and forth, handing people treys and grabbing a new one. They seemed to be very experienced at it because one of the ladies tripped and fell on the floor. (Sarcasm, sarcasm.) Sango and I grabbed our treys and walked back to the eating room.

Kikyo had once called it "The Crapper" because that's what she felt like. When she ate, she told me that it felt like everyone was watching you and glaring. She used the metaphore, "Just think of it, it's like you are taking a dump in the middle of the room and everyone just stares."

Sango and I went to a table that I had never before sat at well other 'residents' filed in, each looking as happy about the situation as last. I could almost always tell what reason each was here.

You had the crazy people, the one's who couldn't even tell the difference between murdering a person and drinking tea, the druggies, the anorexia people, the self abuse people (you can always tell them by the empty looks in their eyes), and the undecided. They usually looked normal enough and it was hard to tell.

I watched them file in and noticed that Sango did the same. We sat for a while, both in a pleasant silence. Yes, I knew Sango and I were going to be good friends.

I let my eyes wander around the room and in-took the already familiar details. I felt myself go back to the doors when I noticed a flash of silver.

Inuyasha, the same one as before, was walking in and talking to a guy who was obviously a druggie. This guy had a pony-tail on the back of his head and had surprisingly friendly eyes. I heard Sango growl and looked over.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"That guy walking with Silver-Hair is Miroku. He always claims to be an 'honest Buddhist' but he is such a leech! When ever I walk by that guy always grabs my ass! Ooh, I once tried to be him up but they stuck me straight in solitary before I could."

Frowning deeply, but still watching him, I thought about the solitary room. It has padded walls and when you go in their, they stick you in a straight jacket. Shivering at the thought of the 'Naughty Room', I was brought back to reality by the fact that Inuyasha waved at me. Sango looked over at me curiously, and we both turned our heads slightly and watched them get in the now very long line.

"You know Silver-Hair?"

"I saw him a few times during my last time here. We never really talked."

"Well, that not really a surprise."

I looked over at her. "Well, you seem more like the silent type, and Inuyasha is the known badass around here."

I smiled and nodded, "I am. I don't like talking much to people who I don't know and have no intention of knowing."

"But you talk to him now?"

"Yes, well, not really. We spoke briefly today when I first got here. He had to leave though, go and see the Doc."

"Doctor God?"

"Yep."

Doctor God was the nickname for one of the shrinks here. His name is Dr. Kamitoshi. (A/U: In Japanese, the prefix _Kami_ means God.) He seemed nice enough but I had only met him once.

I caught the silver streak again as Inuyasha walked around the table and sat down on the other side. He them smiled at me like we where old friends. The Pervert, I hadn't really caught his name, sat next to him.

He smiled at me to. "Hey! You must be new here!" He said, making it sound like the biggest deal. I automatically knew what Sango had meant. This guy seemed **really **fake. He continued talking though, despite the glare I was giving him.

"My name's Miroku, and you are?"

He flashed his teeth. I looked down at my food and chose to ignore him. Playing with it for a few moments I choose to eat my very chunky looking potato with vitamins first. Inuyasha starting laughing though.

"Damn, monk-man, you are really bad at that shit." He said.

"Yah you are, you leech." Sango added. She looked over at me and we shared a smile. I don't really know why, but I figured that it was to confuse the guys into thinking that we knew all about them.

As because of this, Miroku got a confused look on his face and Inuyasha did too, but his wasn't as obvious.

The rest of our dinner was spent in a not-so-comfortable silence, but that was perfectly fine with me.


	4. Child

Chapter Four: _Child_

:---:

During my first night back I found that I could not sleep.

Though Sango was snoring softly next to me, all's I could do was toss and turn. The soft crying of the other residents could also be heard and it was giving me awake-nightmares.

Then, during checks, (Which occurred every 15 minuets), I had to pretend to sleep in fear of being shot with a tranquilizer. I hate those so much.

I remembered them distinctly.

Kikyo and myself had been talking softly and the nurses had heard us because there were no doors on any of the rooms. We both had stood up but only in vain because they had grabbed both our arms and shoved a needle into it.

What did they really expect?

To have us not fight back at all?

Shifting my weight from one arm to the other, I let myself stare at the ceiling and listen to the whispers of the nurses as they walked back and forth between rooms. I could tell that one nurse was a male and one was a female because of the major differences in their whispers.

Well the female spoke softly and incoherent for my ears, the male spoke loud enough that I think people from three floors up would be able to hear them. Sighing, I memorized the sounds of their voices along with the ceiling. Then, for a moment, it was silent.

The whisperings stopped, the sobbing stopped, and I think for a moment my heart stopped. The clock I was staring at stopped ticking too. Then, like a rude awakening, the loudest scream I have ever heard came from somewhere to my left.

Sango's eyes opened wide and we rushed out of our beds to look out the door. It seemed that everyone else did the same thing. Inuyasha was in the doorway in-front of ours, (I found that our rooms where fairly close that evening well we all watched the TV.)

Miroku was standing next to him. He was Inuyasha's roommate. Maybe that's why Sango seemed to dislike Inuyasha too. Because Inuyasha was associated with Miroku.

This was merely a passing thought to, and I tuned my head and saw that two rooms down, four or five nurses and a doctor where trying to detain a small girl. She was screaming and flapping her arms wildly.

"MOMMY! MOMMY!" She screamed, violently thrashing against their arms and preventing them from getting a good hold on her.

I watched as this girl was dropped violently and as she got up with more speed possible.

It seemed that she had gotten away, but an attendant tripped her when she had gotten to her feet. I don't know why, but this for some reason just didn't set right with me. At all.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I screamed, almost as loud as the girl was screaming. I saw that Sango jumped slightly and that all the attendants and even the little girl was staring at me. With an anger that I didn't know could be fueled, I marched out of my room and to the little girl.

They watched me dumbly as I picked her up and held her to my chest. She clung to me tightly. This child was far to light for my likings and seemed to be malnutrition.

"This child had a fucking nightmare!" I hissed, "And you all come and try and pack her full of drugs! What the _hell _do you think you are doing!"

With my slightly free hand I pointed at the needle the man was holding. Glaring with my coldest glare I kept going, "A dose like THAT could **kill** a child of this size and weight! Did you think of that one before trying to stab it into her body?"

The child clung to me tighter and whimpered. The nurse that I had pointed to, a male one with a kind but very shocked look, was looking down at the needle. I saw him gulp. I had proved him wrong. The other nurses also looked surprised.

I suddenly felt a body next to me.

Looking over I saw Inuyasha stand next to me. His eyes were on fire as well. "You dumbasses." He touched my arm slightly, "Do want to kill a child who doesn't even belong here just for having a nightmare that she could not prevent?"

His voice was seething, completely different that what I had remembered. It was now harsh and mean. I was also glad I wasn't at the receiving end of the glare he was giving them. I think it could melt ice.

"Just what's going on here?" A cooler voice asked from the doors to the other wing in which people never seem to come out. It was Doctor K. He seemed to be tired looking and was wearing robes with yellow striped pants. He had a sleeping cap on that oddly enough had little duckies on it.

Walking forward he seemed to be staring, not really glaring, at everyone. Then, he set his gaze on me.

"Miss Higurashi, Mr. Tetsusaiga, may I ask what you are doing?"

I glared at the nurses. "This child," I started but Inuyasha whispered in my ear her name, "Rin, seemed to have a nightmare. She woke up screaming and to shut her up those nurses before you tried to give her a deadly dose of traqualizers."

I felt Inuyasha beam at me. I looked at him with pleading eyes then looked down at the girl. My arms where starting to really kill me. Though the girl was very light, I had barley eaten anything in a long while and wasn't strong enough to hold her. Gently, Inuyasha and I pried her fingers from my neck and her took her in his arms like a concerned father.

Though she was in his arms, she still clung to my right hand tightly, beautiful blue eyes begging me not to let go. I knew already I would risk the naughty room for this child.

Staring at the nurses and grabbing the needle, Doctor K frowned. Looking up at me and Inuyasha, he frowned just a little deeper.

"You two, come with me." He told up, and turned around. Rin's fingers tightened around mine almost painfully. "I refuse to leave this child in _their_ care." I spat.

He looked back for a second, then gave a surprising smile.

"So be it." He said softly. Inuyasha and I looked at each other, and with one fleeting glance at Sango, who had a face of both worry and absolute humor, we followed Doctor K through the door with the windows that you cant see out but people can always look in.

We went under the little sign too out of reach that read, 'Tsukiru Ward' and into unfamiliar territory.


	5. Reason

Chapter Five: _Reason_

:---:

Again I sat in the office of Doctor K for the second time in the last 24 hours. Though it was dark this time and the child I saved, Rin, was trembling in my arms made it the big difference between each visit.

Inuyasha sat next to me in the dead-cow chair. He had slight bags under his eyes and his hair looked a bit ruffled. I had to giggle slightly thought at his choice of nighttime wardrobe.

A pair of obnoxious yellow rubber-ducky sleeping boxers and a bright blue t-shit that said in reasonable defiance, 'crap.'

I decided not to lightly tease him though because of how worried he looked about this girl. Doctor K on the other hand seemed to be much, much more worried about her welfare. Perhaps he was worried that he would have gotten fired it she had died, perhaps not, but his eyes showed worry and even a hint of fear for the child.

"Miss Higurashi, I am glad you had chosen to do something about that situation," He started his voice only cracking once, "Because as you both have stated, that child would have died from the dose that nurse tried to give him. That nurse has been let go of course, and though it seemed to be an accident, he wasn't thinking." Sighing, I yawned slightly.

"Of course." I replied.

He seemed to catch on that now Inuyasha and I were very tired because he smiled with a very worn out kind of smile. "Now, enough talking for tonight. I just wanted to personally thank you for saving her."

"Doctor, I am not letting those nurses take care of her. Would it be all right if she slept in my room?"

He gave me a skeptical look. I rolled my eyes, "Sir, I'm here for self-abuse and for anorexia. That doesn't make me clinically insane like child-molesting sons-of-bitches."

He nodded. "Alright. But only for the time being." I nodded. I don't know why, but seeing that dumb ass nurse knock this child down reminded me violently of my dead younger brother, Sota.

I felt my grip on her tighten as those painful memories resurfaced. Everyone who was supposed to take care of me and protect me has hurt me in someway or left me. They have left me for either death or for another person.

Staring down at Rin's face I saw a few scars on her cheeks. They reminded me of the scars on Edward Scissorhand's face. Rin's eyes where now closed and she was sleeping softly as Inuyasha and I were led out of the ward.

We walked slowly into our part of the building and saw three or four nurses sitting around the TV, talking. They looked at us, nodded slightly for a reason that I will never understand, and let us be. Shifting Rin in my arms and watching as her head bobbed, I walked into my room and saw Inuyasha follow me.

I looked at him.

"Do you think _you're_ coming with?" I asked.

He gave a sad smile and nodded. Staring at the child I saw him tremble. "Kagome," he whispered, and though I was surprised he knew my name I ignored it, "Rin is my daughter."

I gaped and nearly dropped her with shock, but he caught her gently. I felt hundreds of questions burning in my brain by the time we got to my bed.

"Why didn't she call out to you then?"

He gave the saddest look I have ever seen. It almost made me cry. His eyes looked so downfallen and as we lay on my bed, this child in both our arms, he told me more than I ever thought he would.

We sat and talked for almost six hours till the sun was rising. I had barely noticed that none of the nurses where doing checks or yelling at us for being up or tying to shoot us with tranquilizers.

I found out his past.

Inuyasha had been in the ward for almost three years now. Since he was 15. He had originally been in it for drug abuse, but had developed major anxiety problems and anorexia issues in the last year.

He told me that he had made love to a woman when he was only 14. She had gotten pregnant and had made the father out to be his elder brother, Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha hated Sesshoumaru with all his being. All of it. Sesshoumaru had done terrible things to this child because even _he_ had known that she was Inuyasha's daughter. A bastard child. A child of a human and a half human, blood so tainted by sin that when Rin was 3, Sesshoumaru tried to kill her.

That was when the Rin's mother, Kagura, had realized that Rin was Inuyasha's kid and had shot herself, right in front of her kid. Rin was sent to the ward because she had no where else to go. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had been orphaned when he was a tender 5 years old because of a car accident.

Inuyasha had loved his human mother greatly and because of this he tended to be more respectful to woman than other people. Example; he wasn't even close to as horrid as his rabidly horny roommate, Miroku was.

Anyways, the government and foster people had decided that even thought Inuyasha was in the ward, he was Rin's biological father and had rightful claims to her. They had brought her here, and she had yet to find out that he was her father, or even why she was here in the first place.

I had cried softly when he had told me how shocked he was that I had stood up to those nurses, risking not only tranquilizers, but the Naughty room as well. He told me that when he had seen me with my sister only a year before, he had thought I was really a shadow to her and he pitied me.

I had yelled at him, (very softly mind you as to not wake Rin), that thought I was her shadow and stuff, I didn't need pity. He had asked me where Kikyo was and I had just ignored the question, refusing to bring up any bad memories.

Right before we dosed off at about 5:46AM or so, he had told me that he now thought I was 'awesome. Totally brilliant and damn hot.'

Smiling, I had nuzzled into his flesh and breathed in his intoxicating scent.

My last residing thought was, 'Damn, I can tell this will be an interesting visit in the place they think your crazy...'


	6. Fall Down

Chapter Six: _Fall Down_

:---:

When I first woke up I didn't remember where I was.

I felt warmth all around me and a soft snoring sound, but other than that I thought I was home. I thought that perhaps Kikyo had another bad dream and she had crawled into my bed for comfort.

I thought that perhaps Sota finally came home.

Then I opened my eyes and a silver casing surrounded. Focusing my vision, I saw Inuyasha sleeping softly. Looking down a little, Rin was between us and gripping to me with a tight grip.

"Hey, Kagome-san..." Somebody whispered from the door.

I looked up and saw Sango staring at me. "It's almost 10 and everybody has let you sleep in but you have to get up now, ok?"

I nodded, smiling to myself.

It felt so weird to be here, but so right. And by here I meant not only being in the ward, but sleeping next to a child who I had just saved, and a boy I barley knew. Thinking about that, I took it back. I knew a lot more about Inuyasha now.

Not really wanting to, I poked his shoulder lightly and whispered, "Hey, doggy, get up."

He groaned and rolled over, mumbling, "I'm not a damn dog."

Again smiling, I lifted me hand and gave his doggy ear a little rub. It twitched slightly but he didn't pull away. He then rolled back over. "Leave me alone." He told me, but his words did not only any anger. He opened his eyes and they barred into mine with such intensity that I had to look away.

Shivering, I had felt that he had now seen a part of my soul or something dumb like that. Putting my hand in Rin's very dark brown hair, I gently whispered in her ear soothing words to wake up. She did, but only with a little difficulty.

Inuyasha smiled and got out of the bed. Stretching, I looked towards the door past him at a movement. It was a male nurse. He was looking at me with interest. Walking into the room, he asked, "Are you Miss Higurashi?"

I nodded.

"I wasn't aware anyone had let you slept in," He said, voice very annoyed, "Or that you had been allowed guests in your room." I noticed Inuyasha glaring at this man, and felt Rin press herself against my side. Her large brown eyes looked at me and they held fear in them.

I looked at the nurse again and realized that this was the nurse that had tripped Rin down just the night before. My eyes narrowing, I asked, "And what of it?"

He gave a mean smirk, "I'm afraid that you have to go take a physical now."

I felt my skin pale slightly. I knew just what he meant. Standing up I stood behind him and glared, letting him grab my wrist and drag me out of the room. I gave Rin and Inuyasha a last look. Inuyasha looked really pissed but when our eyes met, it was weird. I saw worry in them.

No one besides Kikyo had ever worried about me.

Then I had glanced at Rin. When she had let me go so I could stand up, she had clutched Inuyasha's torso. His arm was on her shoulder and she still looked terrified.

I felt the man's grip around my wrist turn almost painful as he led me through a set of doors past the Naughty Room. He sat and watched me as I stripped out of my clothes and I felt that sick feeling I always got when people looked at me the way he did.

I remembered having to do this everyday, just so Kikyo and I could make a living. I remember the looks they gave me as I was forced to take my clothes of just like I did now. Feeling disgusting, I sat on the table. Just sat there for minutes. I felt like I was watching that girl from yesterday. How she was dancing and dancing but how they had held her back.

I felt not only this nurse strip me of everything, but of myself as well. We were waiting in there for almost five minutes, his eyes glued to my naked body, when Doctor K came in.

He nodded at the nurse to leave, and he did, but only after licking his lips at me. I thought about telling this to Doctor K but I knew he would not believe me. No one ever believes you when you're crazy because they think your just hallucinating.

I thought about the pamphlet that was in the car when they drove me here as Doctor K gave me my physical. It was so I could ignore the leather straps on each side of the table and the large knives in the corner.

I thought about how this wing was just for people with drug problems, eating disorder people, people with medical problems (Like Anxiety), and people with slight to none mental disabilities. There were also the suicidal people who needed to be watched. Sometimes an abuse case would come in, but that was not very often. Cases like Rin's were really rare and un-often at my part of the ward.

On the other side of the building though was the extreme cases. The people who pleaded insanity during trials for murder and the people who had completely lost touch with reality. That was where they had sent Inuyasha first, but he had been moved to this ward.

As Doctor K laid me down and listened to my heartbeat, I made myself think about how I would have rather been anyplace else. I could hear him talking to me but ignored it and felt myself draw circles on my naked thigh.

"Miss Higurashi!" He finally yelled, breaking me from my trance and forcing me to look at him. He didn't look very annoyed because of this, he looked calm.

"Now, everyday from thus forth you will have to go to the schooling room like other's from your age section. I have permitted you to take the child Rin with you because I spoke to her and her father briefly before I came in. It seems she will not cooperate without you or her father around.

Now, tonight was the only night I will allow Rin to stay in your room except on special circumstances. I find it actually remarkable that she took to you so quickly and you earned her complete trust. Perhaps it is because of the horrors in her past, perhaps not."

I nodded dimly.

"Now, you may get up. Lunch will be served in about twenty minutes and a nurse will lead you down to it."

I nodded again.

"Have a nice day, Miss Higurashi." He told me before walking out of the room. I watched with a very light fear as the nurse from before walked in and watched me with the same intensity as I put back on my clothes. When I was finished he gripped my arm and led me back into my ward.

I saw Inuyasha, Sango, Rin, and that pervert Miroku sitting on the ugly old couch with patterns that had faded away so much you could barely see it. As I walked towards them with a small smile on my face I felt the man grip me tighter, stopping me.

He glowered over me so that none of them could see what he was doing. He licked his lips in my face and gave me a superior look. "I'll be watching you." He told me.

Letting me go I felt myself tremble.

_: "I'll never let you leave me..." Hojo told me gripping my upper arm so tight that it bled. _

_I trembled slightly and this caused his eyes to narrow. I felt the familiar sting on my cheek as he slapped me. _

"_I will never let you be free.":_

Walking over to my friends I fell to my knees and grabbed Rin who ran over to me. I think they all thought it was because of how disgusting the physical was, but they had no idea.

I don't think they would ever understand how horrible it was for me two years ago. Or how horrible it was for me today.

Because I promised my self to let Hojo die in my heart, just like I had let my love for Kikyo and my love for Sota die.

I watched as Rin ran around us in circles as we walked to the lunch room. She was singing softly and twirling, twirling.

"Ring around a rosy,

Pockets full of posy,

Ashes, Ashes,"  
_  
: "I will never let you be free.":_

"We all fall down."


	7. Change

Chapter Seven: _Change_

:---:

During my next weeks at the ward, I realized how different it was from my last visit. Back then, Kikyo had been the one I clung to everyday, the only one I thought I could turn to for support. She had been my stronghold, and at the time, the only one I would talk to.

Now, I had Sango, Rin, Inuyasha, and Miroku. Thought Miroku and I were not the greatest of friends, I still considered him just that- a friend. We had spent one day sitting in group just talking. The group leader, some random person, had obviously had something better to do and had left us to sit and chat happily.

I learned that each person who was there was very different, but they were rather nice. There were a few residents who I disliked, one particularly named Yuki, but I mostly ignored him and he left me alone.

I learned that Sango was outgoing and friendly, just like I had been. She had her secrets, some revolving around her many drug addictions, but other's about her childhood. We had talked alone about how when she was little she lived in the states. She had lived in South Carolina next to a beach with an alcoholic father but a loving mother.

When an African American had introduced her to drugs, she took to them immediately. She loved weed, but mostly X and white light. When her mother and father had gotten a divorce, they had moved back to Japan. This was when she was 13. Once there, she hated it because no one would talk to her at school and she was often discriminated against for being a 'yankee', so she depended more on her drugs.

She had been sent to the ward a little over three months ago and she was starting to get over her addictions, but she told me once she got out she would go right back on it.

Thought Sango had asked me about my past, I hadn't really told her anything. I told her about how when I was little I had my mother, baby brother, and twin sister. I told her about how I got good grades in school and how I was completely happy up till my 15 birthday.

I told her about how my father had came back home, and told her that he was a very bad man. I told her about the things he did to me and my sister, and how he had tried to kill me. Now that I think about it, I told her more things about me than any living person.

The only things I don't think I'll tell her, the things I know that I will carry to my grave, where about Hojo. Hojo and the things he had done. It's painful to think about it. My mother dying of breast cancer, leaving my sister and I to take care of my brother under my father's care... How I had fallen for Hojo because of his tender words and soothing looks...

At night I can still hear my brother's screams. They seem distant now, like a dream. The screeching sound of burning water on flesh. I also here my sister crying. Soft sobs, always crying and crying.

I sometimes vision myself in front of her grave, right before I tried to do that horrible thing. The thing that I had been caught for and sent here for the second time.

I also vision how Hojo had told that principle that Kikyo and I were crazy after father was taken away...

I don't think about as much as I used to. When those thoughts dredge up in my mind, I think about Inuyasha. I think about how handsome he is... and how kind. I think about how him and I getting out of this place. How we would buy a pretty house with a white fence and drink iced tea on the front step, just like me and momma did back when we lived at the shrine.

I see us each holding Rin's hands, walking down to the penguin park. I see Sango and I working at some random job, laughing to each other about an inside joke. I see Miroku and Sango becoming a couple, and us all having a happy ending.

It takes the bad memories away, just like an herbal healing remedy.

We sit now, in group. I am working on homework the school I went to had faxed in. Right now I'm doing writing homework. I'm supposed to be writing in Kanji simple Haiku's for my name with an ink pen. I chose the rhyme that everyone knows already...

"Kagome,

When will the bird in the cage be freed?"

I'm actually cheating, knowing it's not a Haiku, but I don't really care. Inuyasha's hand is on mine as he helps me get the correct characters. 'Ha,' he writes in a fluid motion that I could never attain, 'Kaji, Wo, Mitsu.'

I giggle as he draws a happy face on the bottom of the page. It had little doggy ears.

I suddenly, for reason's unknown to me, feel really guilty about not telling him why I threw up when I got back from my physical. I feel guilty about not telling him all that he has told me.

I feel guilty because he is being so nice. He has done nothing but help me since I arrived. Made sure that the group leader left me out of the conversations, knowing I don't like to talk a lot.

He made sure to always help me when Rin was crying. I think about how he always gives Rin his dessert, and I know that he is doing it because of his disorder, but some of it has to be good intentions.

He is a good person...

And as I stare into his eyes I wonder if he is the one that will save me like momma said someone would right before she died. Thinking of momma I'm reminded how ashamed she would be if she were alive... Me doing all these horrible things and ending up in the ward...

I wonder if she would think I was crazy.


	8. Scars

Chapter Eight: _Scars_

:---:

Sango and I sat on the beds giggling.

We were both playing a game of cards, (I was half surprised that allowed us to have them), and I was winning. I gave a mock serious face as I reached over to the three cards left on the bed.

Sango gave a twinkle in her eye.

"Do you have any three's?" She asked a delicate eyebrow lifting. Looking down at my own hand I saw a shiny red Ace of Hearts. Licking my lips I giggled again, quietly.

"Go Fish!" I finally told her. She slammed her cards down and fell back on her bed giving a large groan. I laughed again, semi-shocked that I let Sango into my good graces so easily. I remember how it was like at school.

I trusted no one. No one except for Kikyo, and she what was weird was Kikyo trusted everyone. That may have been her downfall.

We both stood up and I reached to my back pocket, taking out my pack of smokes. I opened it and she handed me one of her own- a cheap Newport. I stuck the smoke into my half-empty pack and placed it back in my pocket.

Just as I had done this a nurse entered our rooms telling us of dinner. I saw Sango look at the clock and smile. She really did loose track of time I had learned. It was about two hours after group and an hour after we had started playing cards for smokes out of pure boredom.

We both walked out of our room and well Sango leaned against the wall looking around I walked across the hall to Inuyasha's and Miroku's room. Inuyasha was leaning against the wall that had his bed on it, Rin slumbering silently in his lap. Miroku was sitting on his own bed lying down.

I had noticed the nurses for some reason allowed Miroku and Inuyasha to have a lot more crap on their walls. They had band posters and very anorexic looking swimsuit models plastered everywhere. They had probably used sticky glue to put it all up though because tacks were not allowed.

I had always thought about how absolutely humiliating it would be to slash yourself with nothing more than a thumbtack back when I was still dating Hojo. Now it didn't seem that far fetched.

I usually used a sharp ballpoint pen when I really need to cut myself now, but if I could get hold of some tacks I would defiantly use those. Sighing wistfully I thought for a passing moment about what I would do to my arms if I had a scissors or exact-o knife again.

"Hey Kag." Inuyasha told me, leaning forward. "What's up?"

Thinking about it I looked up just to be cocky. "Your slipknot poster and that boob-job model."

Miroku looked up, "You don't mean 'Jenny from America' Do you? How hurtful..."

"You named your poster?" Sango asked from behind me, black nail-polished hand gently taping the frame of the door-less doorway.

Miroku got a toothy smile. "I didn't name that one, Hachi that janitor did!"

Sango and I must have rolled are eyes in unison or something because Inuyasha gave a grin in our direction. "Dinner?" He asked, looking like he didn't want to go. Understanding exactly why (for both reasons) I nodded.

We both looked down as Rin rolled over on Inuyasha's lap. He got that sad look like the one he gave when he had explained to me his past. Sango didn't understand it because I had kept my silent promise to him, not blabbing anything he told me, but I think Miroku knew because he asked softly; "You told her yet?"

Inuyasha nodded 'no.'

"You have to soon, Inu."

He nodded again. "I know." He gently patted her head and she rolled off of him, grasping his dark red pillow with her hands. With the left side of her face exposed to me the way it was I saw one of the worst bruises and cuts she had was begging to heal.

"At least some of those cuts won't leave permanent scars." I said and saw Sango nod. "The one's Kohaku had like that usually faded altogether within two years or so. I think that one under her eye may be there the rest of her life though."

I nodded. I didn't really know much about Kohaku though. When Sango talked of her past she rarely mentioned him. All's I knew was that he was her little brother by three years and that he wanted to grow up to be just like Sango, whatever that was.

Inuyasha stood up and gave one last look at Rin. Miroku lay still on his bed though. Sango growled uncharacteristically.

"Arent you coming letch?" She asked.

He nodded no. "Don't feel like it."

"You know you'll go to the Naughty room if you don't come." I pointed out.

He looked at me oddly, "Naughty room?" He asked.

Shaking my head slightly I smiled, "It was my sister's word for solitary." I explained to him. Sango smiled giving her 'I like that word' look at me. Inuyasha did the same. He grabbed my arm though and pulled me.

"C'mon, lets get to dinner before they think we're skipping and make **us** go to the 'naughty room!'"


	9. Not Enough

Chapter Nine: _Not Enough_

:---:

I stare at the wall with a blank look on my face.

A pile of disgusting food lay before me and I feel like vomiting. Both Inuyasha and I just stare at the food. Why should I eat? I don't even really feel hungry!

I look over and see little Rin gobbling up her meal as if it were her last. I know it's a bit sneaky of me but I hand over my fruits and small desert snack- a brownie.

Sango looks over at me with an unreadable look. I wonder if she's thinking how pathetic it is of me not to eat. I don't feel fat or anything like that… not at all. I'm just not hungry. I wonder sometimes in the dead of night if that is the reason I'm here.

Sighing, I take my fork and pick at my food. Inuyasha and I look at each other. I looked at him because I wanted to see what he was doing. Perhaps he was looking at me for the exact same reason.

I see an arm go in front of my face.

It's Sango's.

She is reaching down over my plate with her fork and taking a big ass spoonful (They do not allow us forks) of the gray and green muck that smells like dog shit. She puts it all on her plate and then does the same with Inuyasha.

We both look at her. Why is she doing this?

She stands up and pulls the napkin that was on her lap. Walking over to the trash cans the men who watch them make her show them her nametag. I suddenly understand. Sango is here for drug use, not anorexia. She could just say that she really wasn't hungry and the men would buy it.

She walks back over to our table and sits down. Looking down at my food I see the rest of it is gone, on Miroku's plate. Giving them a very grateful smile, under the table I feel a hand on mine.

Sango winks and gives my hand a squeeze. "It's just one of those days…" She whispers, letting my hand go and looking around like she didn't do that. I nod but I don't think she notices.

We sit there for a while, Rin giggling at her food, Inuyasha staring out the window, Sango looking around at the blank faces of the other 'residents', and Miroku staring at Sango. I sigh.

"What do you think we'll do when we get out of here?" I ask in a whisper. I feel everyone's eyes on me. Sango smiles, "We will move in together!"

Inuyasha gives a smirk as well, "A four bedroom apartment with doors and a giant kitchen."

Miroku adds, "It will have a big screen TV and all the games we could imagine."

I giggle slightly, thinking about my home with Kikyo right after Sota died, "The bathroom will be huge and we can fucking shave our legs without being watched!" Sango and I laugh.

"Yah," She whispers dreamily, "We can have all the drugs we want."

"OH!" Rin cries, making us look at her, "I want a rainbow room with a bunch of stuffies (Rin's word for stuffed animals) and all the pretty clothy-clothes I could ever want!"

We laugh. "We will paint your room whatever you want it to be." Inuyasha says, smiling at her and patting her head.

"We have to have a balcony." Miroku says, looking at Inuyasha. It must be an inside joke because Inuyasha laughs with that deep laugh. The one that makes me a little tingly.

"And a view that overlooks the city on one side, and an ocean on the other." I say.

"We will always have a fresh stock of OJ." Sango tells us.

"And a bag of Doritos." Miroku finishes.

We all laugh a little and I notice that other people are staring at us. For a moment there, it was almost like we were normal. Like we were in a normal school with normal kids and normal adult who didn't think we were crazy. I can almost feel the nurse to the left of me reach for a sedative.

My eyes trail down to the table. "Will I ever be free?" I whisper, mostly to myself. Leaning her hands under her chin Sango put her head on my shoulder.

"'Course you will. We all will be one day."

_:"They will never take your freedom away.":_

_:"I will never let you be free!"_

_: Kikyo looks at me. Her hair is flowing in the wind. She is also so calm and beautiful sitting there. I'm so envious…_

"_Kagome-chan, things are going to start now. You won't have the control you normally have little sister. You will meet new people. My time is ending…" Looking towards the setting sky her eyes flash with determination. What does it all mean!_

"_But I'm not afraid."_

_I'm so confused. What does she mean? Why is she walking away? Father? Hojo! _

_The breaking glass… shattering, pounding on the sides of my brain…:_

"Kagome?" I hear Inuyasha's voice and am lured from my torturous mind. I feel my whole body shaking. Rin is looking up at me with a worried face.

I feel my all ready empty stomach heave. I'm going to throw up…

Clasping my hand over my mouth I stagger over to the trash. The smell alone is horrid. I hear the nurses yell, "Hey! You can throw up!"

I feel somebody's warm hands on my bare arm. As I heave the little food I had in me into the foul garbage, Inuyasha is holding my hair behind my back and patting my arm.

As I spit up, I can't help it, I whisper, "Kikyo…"

And everything goes black yet again.


	10. Past

Chapter Ten:_ Past_

:---:

Kagome Higurashi, age 12, leaned against the window and sighed as the rain fell down. It was again rainy, as it had been for so long now.

The house smelled of Kikyo's burn cooking, and she could hear Kikyo crying out if frustration as another batch of her ever carbonized cookies were removed from the oven.

"Kagome-Chan!" Kikyo called, and Kagome rushed out of the bedroom they both shared. It was a small apartment, with vaulted ceilings that made it look bigger than it actually was.

It only had one bedroom and one bathroom, but came with a washer and dyer. They were on the second story though, so Kagome always walked across the newly polished wooden floors softly.

"Hai, Kikyo-Chan?" Kagome said, giggling at the irritated look on Kikyo's face.

"You have to help me, Kagome! Those stupid students in class 3-B are expecting cookies made by me tomorrow!"

Kagome gave a smirk. "Lose another bet?"

Kikyo nodded sadly. Kagome grabbed her fuzzy pink baby cow apron and tied it, walking into the kitchen. That had always been one talent Kikyo never possessed- Cooking.

Kikyo could cook anything from a box that had the ingredients all laid out for her. She could make small box lunches that had the minimal ingredients. Kagome on the other hand could make anything. She mostly enjoyed making western cooking though.

Kagome took the eggs and the flour, mixing them up and adding each ingredient with care. Then, rolling them into small balls she placed them onto the cookie sheet where they baked to perfection.

Kagome giggled as Kikyo playfully smacked her head.

"Darn you, Kag-Chan! You are such a good cook!" Kikyo called with a pretend angry look. It was weird because her pretend angry look was almost the exact same look Kagome got when she _was_ angry.

Kagome just smiled and said, "Practice makes perfect."

Kikyo rolled her eyes but hugged her sister.

"We better hurry up, sis! We have to make dinner before Sota-nee-chan comes home with father."

Kikyo nodded and watch Kagome with a faint look of happiness. If only things could stay this way…

:---:

Kagome pounded on the door so hard her fists felt as if they were breaking.

"FATHER!" She screamed, over and over again. She heard Sota's cries… they were loud, piercing. Kikyo sat in the corner and whimpered.

They heard their baby brother shriek. Their father was laughing- laughing!

Finally pounding into the door with all of her strength, the lock shattered and Kagome tumbled into the bathroom. She smelled vomit and sake which was making her sick. Looking up, the image burned itself into her innocent mind.

Their baby brother was no longer screaming. His body looked red, burn even. Looking at the bathtub she saw the water was boiling with steam. It rose up fogging the mirror. Her father was cradling the baby, holding it, holding it.

It was all too horrible, the smell. Kagome felt herself hold her mouth closed as the bile came up her throat. She felt her whole body trembling. Sota… Sota!

There was a 'splish' noise and Kagome looked up. Her father was standing holding her now dead brother over the tub. She watched as he dropped Sota into the water.

The new mass made the water rise and pool over the sides of the bath. She saw her father look over at her. Shaking violently, Kagome sprang up from where she lay.

Running to the corner where Kikyo lay she pulled Kikyo up so hard she nearly dislocating Kikyo's shoulder. She heard their father cry out for them.

"Children…Children! Come to your father!"

Not even grabbing their shoes, Kagome pulled Kikyo out of the door and they ran. They ran so hard and so fast that both of their chests burned for air.

Finally, after reaching the railroad tracks about a mile away Kagome sprawled over the grass and vomited. She vomited so much that pretty soon it was blood staining the green life.

Kikyo said nothing. She simply stared off at the stars, unaware of anything really. Kagome shivered, wondering where they should go well Kikyo cried silently.

"Kagome…" Kikyo finally whispered, "What should we do?"

:---:

Both children walked silently to the graves of their mother. She had died about a year ago after Sota turned two.

She had leukemia.

The grave was in a large yard of graves and the smell of incense always was what she associated with this vile place. Her mother's name was written elegantly. Next to their mother, their grandparents lay dead as well.

They sat there until dawn, shivering and scared.

They were lucky though, because they had feared their father would find them there. Instead the cops would.

After this night, nothing would stay the same.

Because in the course of history; you change one thing, you change everything.

_Everything_.


	11. Not Real

Chapter Eleven: _Not Real_

:---:

I screamed when I woke up, my body flinging from my bed.

I didn't know where I was at first, this blank white room that had shadows making forms that wanted to attack me. I heard movement and suddenly an unfamiliar man came rushing into my room with a needle in hand.

With a wave of empathy crushing me, and fell back to my bed and put my head in my hands.

The nurse walked over to me and I heard more footsteps.

I think I should have felt so honored that so many people came to me after that horrible nightmare.

I felt a hand on my arm, and suddenly warmth as Rin's small head came to rest on my lap and Inuyasha gave me a large hug. I could tell by the look on the nurses face that Inuyasha was giving a death care.

Sango was sitting up on her bed as well.

"She just had a bad dream." Sango growled, walking over to me. "You can put the weapon down."

The nurse glared and I felt my body go ridged as a new voice came in the room. "It's not a weapon. Merely something to make sure you crazy people don't attack us."

It was that nurse from the day I had gotten my physical. The one who had stared at me when I got undressed like I was a piece of meat.

Rin was now glaring at the man as much as a girl her age could glare. "We are not crazy people!" She cried in her 'adult voice' as Inuyasha dubbed it, "You are the crazies!"

The man's eyes narrowed. Oh how I loathed him.

Looking over at my clock I saw it was 2:23AM. I stood up even though I didn't want to leave the protection of Inuyasha's arms. Rin let go of my lap and I picked her up.

She threw her arms around me as usual, cuddling her head into the crook of my neck but I knew she was still frowning. Sango spoke this time, "It's late. We should all just go to sleep."

I nodded and started to walk out of the room. The nurse put his arm across the door. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked in a voice that made me sick.

"To put Rin to bed." I said. I saw his eyes glaze over and didn't want to know what he was thinking as his eyes passed over my body and Rin's.

"Her father can do that for her."

I felt Rin's grip tighten around me painfully. She started trembling. "My daddy was a very bad, bad man! He is not here!" I realized that Rin still did not know Inuyasha was her biological father. She still though that Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's brother was.

Inuyasha stepped forward and took Rin from my arms. "It's all right Rin. The nurse mean's me."

Rin nodded and put her thumb in her mouth. I watched as the nurse let Inuyasha through and watched Inuyasha go across the hall. I started heading over to my bed, but the nurse grabbed my arm painfully and twisted it.

I bit my lip to stop from crying out in pain as he threw me harshly onto the bed. Sango yelled, "What the hell!" and she went over to him.

He pointed his finger at her and glared, pinning me down onto the bed, "You shut the fuck up!" He shouted. I started to struggle. He slapped me and I started to tremble. I couldn't help it.

Sango tried to pull him off but he backhanded her across the face. She hit the floor with a sickening thud. "Sango!" I cried out, getting slapped yet again.

"Shut up you fat whore…" The man said quietly, his breath on my face. By now the other nurses where in our room. There must have been five or six nurses piled in our small room.

"This one is giving me some trouble. She tried to bite me or some shit." He lied.

Sango got up and shouted, "That is not true!" A nurse came after and grabbed her. I saw Sango struggle, but my vision began to blur as I realized that he had pinned my hands across my neck and were holding them there.

I could hardly breathe. Struggling, he looked back down at me and glared, holding me harder. "I think she deserves to go in the solitary for a little while." He snarled, glaring down at me. I cried out but my chest burned. The other nurses came towards me and I let out a scream.

I knew my pupils where dilated because I couldn't see… Oh my god! They can't put me into that room again… not the naughty room.

When I saw the straight jacket coming towards me, I cried out. The nurses must have been blocking the doorway because Inuyasha and Miroku were calling our names.

I heard Sango howl in the corner and I turned to see that she was being held back, a shit load of sedatives being forced into her body by needle. She looked at me.

I thrashed by body, trying to get them off of me. One of the men slapped me so hard that I felt the tangy taste of blood in my mouth. I was biting my tongue so hard it was bleeding.

They pulled my arms off of my chest and forced my arms in the straight jacket. Things where getting so hard to focus on. Inuyasha was still calling out my name…

I felt my body being lifted up and I couldn't movie my arm. I screamed and screamed.

I heard another thud and as they carried me the last thing I could focus on was the image of Inuyasha on the ground, Miroku next to him, looking really scared.

"Inuyasha…" I whispered my voice really hoarse. It had been so painful to talk.

And everything went black and red.


	12. Save Me

Chapter Twelve: _Save Me_

When I woke up, it all felt numb.

I couldn't feel my body.

I wonder if it was the sedatives they gave me, or just my imagination but I could not move my arms. I was sitting on a hard ground, my nose face towards the ground.

Rolling onto my back I saw a strange light that made my eyes blur. It almost felt like I was drunk. Shaking my head, I wished I could wipe the blurriness away but I still found that I couldn't move my hands.

Forcing my whole body to work harder than it should have, I managed to get up to a sitting position.

Then it hit me so hard that I could have died right at that second.

The padded walls…

The ugly gray tile…

My throat felt so hoarse but I screamed louder than I ever thought I would. This scream pierced my whole body. I felt like, I don't know, that I actually was crazy just because they keep telling me I am…

_:Father was coming towards me…:_

I thrashed my body around and looked down, finding that I was in a hideous gray straight jacket.

_:"Come to Daddy, Kagome." He whispered:_

Screaming again, I felt tears rolling down my face. "Get me out! Get me out!" My whole body started convulsing but I heard people running towards the door.

"SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" I screamed, as one nurse climbed over me. I don't know why but it struck me that he had a rather nice face. Not as hard as the other nurses. This was but a passing thought as I felt a distinct pressure in my arm as if someone had pinched me hard.

_:I whimper, shivering, trying to cover up my young nude body, "I love you Hojo." I tell him, trying to keep this alive. I hold my stomach. "Please…":_

During the next week I was silent.

I didn't speak to anyone at all.

I had been so livid about it all.

But I had learned the name of the nurse who had held me down that night. I had learned it well being restrained for the 4th straight day. I suppose now they have reason for my body to be held in the confines of where they true crazy people go.

I am no longer Kagome Higurashi, anorexic and self harm patient, I'm that girl who went psycho in the solitary and finally lost it.

When they took me out I was brought to the examination. There were deep, dark bruises around my wrists and I looked like absolute shit. They had to carry me to my room, even though they were force feeding me, the struggle I had gave all through out the shit they did was nothing. I let them.

When I had gotten back to my room, Rin had cried on my legs. She had asked me over and over 'Why? Why? Why?' and I could never tell her. Inuyasha seemed distant as well, not really looking me straight in the eyes, but I didn't really care.

I was silent.

I was afraid.

As I sat in my room, on the edge of my bed, I stared at my hands and wrists. They were dark blue and grey, mixing with the little crosses and scars. My whole body felt empty, and I wanted to cry but didn't feel that there was enough water in me to pull it off.

I remember that Sango came into my room.

She walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder so lightly that I think she thought she would have broken me or something. I looked up at her.

_:"You will never be free":_

"I need to get out of here." I told her.

She looked at me, at my bruised hands and wrists and at my thin body. Gently, she wrapped her arms around me. "Then let's do it." She told me.

I looked at her. "How?" I was already starting to doubt that it was possible. She smiled at me and for some reason her eyes looked really dead. She pressed a finger to my lips and winked. "We'll have to discuss that later." She said.

I stared down at my knees again.

"Inuyasha, Rin, Miroku, you… and me…" I whispered to myself almost… "They can never take your freedom away." She told me.

Standing up, I walked over to the mirror that was behind plastic in our bathroom. From the depths of the mirror, agirl that I didn't recognize gazed back at me.

This girl had brown eyes that were dead to all else. No hope or dreams...

Thinking back, that image will never leave me.


	13. Caged Child

Chapter Thirteen: _Caged Child_

Kagome Higurashi, now age 13, was staring out amongst the city with a dark look across her features. Behind her she could hear Kikyo whimpering as the paying customer had his way with her.

She could hear the sound of scratching and the sounds of the man's moans. It made her want to vomit but also made her want to run away because she knew that she was next.

Her fists digging into the soft flesh of her palm she just kept telling herself that this is what needed to happen. They needed this money to survive.

Around her, the rain kept falling.

XXX

Inuyasha and I sat on the edge of the grass, watching Rin run around.

All of the residents that morning had been forced out of the ward for cleaning and into a small grassy area. This was over 300 crazy people of course so the area was closed off with High fences and guard at every two feet.

Even though as I thought this was a rather bleak turn of events, I just sighed it off and let myself be happy that I was outside again.

Sango seemed to be the same way. She told me as we left the building in our handcuffs like prisoners that when she lived in the states she was always outside.

The wind smelled really nice as well.

Rin seemed really happy as well. The black eye she had received from before she came here was now almost gone, and she had starting looking up to Inuyasha and I as her parents for some reason.

I could tell Inuyasha was really happy because he gives that deep look at her. The one that makes me shiver… The look that tells me of a horrible past which angers him. A past that I now know all about.

Looking at Rin, I wonder to myself what her mother must have looked like… What was her name again? I ask myself this but it soon drops from my mind as Sango comes walking over.

Since I had returned from Solitary, and since Sango had told me that we were going to get out of their somehow, she had seemed to come up with every possible idea.

We would sit up at night between checks and whisper our plans. Then, during the following breakfast and during the time that our old schools sent us homework; we would both tell Inuyasha and Miroku these plans.

We would start off with a really basic, stupid plan. Then we would continue to build to it, trying not to make it too complicated. It would be difficult though, because we would have to get Rin out, and there were three separate rooms we had to escape from.

I heard Inuyasha whistle quietly. "Today would be a grand day to get out, don't you agree Kagome?"

I looked over and he was giving me a cocky smile. I tightened my grip around my knees. With the sun shining to beautifully, I couldn't help but agree.

I saw us all again, in that dream house of mine. The white one with blue shudders. We would all share a room and stay up as late as we wanted talking loudly, and dancing. Dancing around and around.

We would let Rin stay up late watching those western Disney movies and after she went to sleep we would all get wasted and play strip poker.

Inuyasha would start eating again and he would get his hair trimmed a little, Sango would wear outrageous clothing that made her look so unique and pretty, Miroku would still grope her off course, but he would also hug her and tell her that everything was going to be ok.

I would be watching them silently, quietly, with that picture of Kikyo I once had in my hand, always smiling. Inuyasha and I would take Rin to the park and I would teach her origami.

The wind blue from behind me and blew my thoughts away. I was again behind the giant cage that kept me in, at the place where no one trusted you.

It gave me an overwhelming need to burst out crying, throwing myself at the cage and pleading with the guards to let me out.

I looked down at my lap and told the tears to not come. Inuyasha must have noticed that I was holding back because he grabbed my hand and stroked it. The pad of his thumb yet again caressed my hand and I found myself feeling a little better. I gave him a soft smile that I meant only for his eyes.

Those beautiful golden orbs had me entranced again.

"Kagome!" I heard a voice and saw Sango strutting over to me. She was walking all funny, trying to make me laugh. It worked too, her and her pretend cigarette and the way she twirled her hair. I gave her an even bigger smile well Inuyasha chuckled.

She sat next to me and took my other hand.

"Kag…"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Remember that one plan we had about no one looking for us?" I could tell Inuyasha was listening too, even though he was pretending not too. We didn't want anyone to interrupt us.

"Yeah, that would take this place to be empty though." I told her back, looking off into the sky as if our conversation was something small, stupid. The guards looked like mean wolves ready to attack.

"I have an idea. We would be out of here by tonight."

That statement got my heart racing a little bit. Tonight? Would it work?

"What would the punishment for this be?" Inuyasha asked his eyes over on Rin now. Miroku was showing her flowers on the outside of the gate. One of the guards had his eyes on them though, his knuckles white from holding his gun so hard. Next to them some unknown girl stood. She was staring at her hand as if it was the most amazing thing ever.

Sango stayed silent for a moment, "Upgrade to Tsukiru. Maybe even solitary."

I almost started to shake. The thought of solitary, the thought of the naughty room, it was the scariest thing I could think of. Both Sango and Inuyasha were now looking at me.

"You up for it?" He asked me, almost expecting that I would say no. I looked back at Rin and Miroku. Rin was squealing in delight as a butterfly flew over the wired fence. I stared at this butterfly as it flew and couldn't help but think; f_reedom_.

Would I risk the Naughty room for a chance at living again?

Would I able to pull myself together? Could I?

"We have to try…" I told them.

You bet.


	14. Escape

Chapter Fourteen: _Escape _

XXX

Now that I think about it, it was going to be harder than anything I had ever done.

Sango and I planned for the rest of our time outside, and I think everyone had big doubts in our minds. Sango, after seeing what the Naughty room had done to me, was absolutely terrified of it she confided in me.

I told her that I would never let them do that to her. For some reason she told me that I was the strongest person she had known, but I'm not too sure about that. Thinking back, I'm the weakest person I know.

I'm weak for loving, especially Kikyo and Hojo. Loving them with all my heart killed Kikyo and caused Hojo to resent me.

Inuyasha and Miroku were very quiet as we planned. Miroku had that dark look in his eyes and made me start to wonder why he was here. I never found out and when you're in the ward you learn not to ask people why.

The counselors do that enough.

After our outside time we were forced to go back into group. The leader for our group was missing again but we knew that we couldn't talk about our plans to escape. Not when there was a security camera is the dirty bar covered window.

I took the time that day to notice the other people in my group. There was that girl I saw on my first day back. The one who had been dancing, dancing. She was still wearing a gown and I knew it was because she probably had refused to eat. Her little booties had ducks on them today though, the only difference.

I knew that Sango was giggling at the girl, talking to her a little bit. Sango then introduced me to her, her name was Yume.

The day went quick because of our promise to leave. I quickly memorized our plan. That night, right before bedtime, all of us would go outside for a smoke. There was a little porch with a fence all the way around it. Because Inuyasha was a half-demon, he could easily lift us all out of there in intervals. First Rin and I would be taken to the bottom, then Miroku and Sango. We would need to do this quickly, in less than two minutes because we knew that the lady who sat out there watching us would have to get up at exactly 11:15 to grab our meds.

I don't know why we hadn't thought of this before; we could have done this a long time ago. Sango told me that they had to think we wouldn't run away though, that it would be nothing suspicious.

After group we were allowed 15 minutes before dinner. After dinner was when we were going to go. Sango and I sat in our room, both contemplating things. I had no idea what she was thinking about, but I was thinking about what we would do when we got out. We had no money; most of us had no family…

How would we live that dream we shared?

I thought about what would happen if we got caught trying to escape. We would never be able to get out after that… They would never trust us. Inuyasha and I would probably be upgraded to Tsukiru, where Inuyasha would lose his privileges to Rin. I would never get to see him or Sango or Miroku. They would probably be put into solitary… There were too many things that could happen if our plan went wrong. I prayed to kami that Inuyasha was strong enough too.

His anorexia could really hurt him as he got us out. It would be dangerous because if his heart rate went up too high he could have a heart attack. That was one of the many dangers of anorexia. I knew them all too well. He also probably had low blood sugar which meant if he passed out he could go into comatose.

Sighing, I heard the nurse walk in our room telling us that dinner was ready. Looking around the room at our things, I noticed that I wouldn't have much to take even if I wanted too. My suitcase I brought on the first day had nothing more than two changes of clothes.

Currently I was wearing a pair of jeans with a skirt over them, a shirt I bought at a local gas-station chain, and a pair of shoes I've had since before Sota died. Quietly before we left, I put my only picture I had of Kikyo and myself into my right pocket and my pack of smokes in my left.

Sango went under her bed and grabbed a small piece of paper and her smokes, making sure that nothing looked suspicious to the cameras. Sango was wearing a pair of shorts and a big sweatshirt. She had no shoes on but I saw her put on a pair of her American shoes.

I then left the room and went over to Rin's. Rin's room was two doors down from mine and her door was closed. Opening it I saw she had just about as many possessions as I did. The bed that she slept on was in the corner that Sango's was in. The bed next to it was empty. The nightstand next to her futon was empty except for two changes of cloths. Rin looked up at me when I opened the door and smiled. I told her that she better change into something warm otherwise she will get a cold. The sweet child did as I told her without a moments thought. I grabbed her hand and we walked out of the room together.

Rin and I met up with the others in the entrance to the dinning hall. Inuyasha had on his usual clothes and Miroku was spiffed up with a sweatshirt. Looking at each other once, we walked through the doorway for, hopefully, the last time we would ever need to.

Going through the long and ever graceful line to get our food, I felt myself suddenly had a hint of hope. Maybe, just maybe this would work out.

Maybe we would be free and live in a place where we were not considered crazy for being different. Maybe I could, sometime soon, go and pray at that shrine where Kikyo's gravestone is. Perhaps I can live again, only better this time, with Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Rin.

Maybe Rin will finally be allowed a true home and a true childhood. That's only fair, isn't it?

And as I sat down at the usual table we had also sat at, I looked at Inuyasha and could tell he was thinking the same thing. Giving him the biggest smile that I could, nothing more than a bit of a twitch on each side of my mouth, we shared that feeling.

No more needles, no more perverted nurses, no more Naughty room, no more Checks, no more people asking us Why all the time… Freedom.

Dinner didn't taste that bad that night. I ate all my food even though I wasn't hungry. I didn't need Sango to grab a chunk of food off my plate and neither did Inuyasha. Rin just smiled up at us, clueless as always.

I knew she would be crying with happiness if Rin knew our plans for exactly 11:15, because inside, I was crying too.

This was our chance, our moment, our escape.

And looking into everyone's eyes, for the first time I knew that it was going to be alright. Without a doubt, we were going to be free.


	15. Kobe

**Important Author Note:** My pen-name will be changing from Corporate Lullabies to DXM Junkie. I'm sick of my old pen-name and I hate author note's but I don't want to delete my stories.

Chapter Fifteen: _Kobe_

XXX

I ran.

Hard.

I don't know how fast I was going, but it was fast. Miroku's breath was panting, Sango was silent, and Inuyasha was ahead of us, Rin on his back. Still we ran. I think if I was back home I would have been able to even outrun Hojo from his attempts at that moment.

The tree's blurred past us in a surreal fashion. Like running along a railroad track, everything was the same. Same sticks to jump over, same leaves on the ground. I was watching my feet, they moved, right in front of left, left in front of right. My left shoe was beginning to come untied but I wouldn't stop. Hell itself was chasing me and if I stopped I would be captured.

My lungs burned but I kept on going anyway. We must have been about a mile away from the ward by this point. None of us cared. Rin was clutching Inuyasha's back, a huge smile on her face.

She was alive again, despite the bruises on her face and the mortal scars that had been placed on her heart. I'm pretty sure we all looked this way. Terrified to turn back, but as we were lead away from that horrible place, the sky was becoming lighter, the sun was shining a little brighter, and a bit of that weight of life was being lifted off of our shoulders.

Sango suddenly tripped. She didn't yelp or cry out in pain. She just rolled over and took long, steep breaths. I stopped, collapsed on the ground, and gave a breathy laugh. Inuyasha and Miroku fell to the ground a few feet away. Inuyasha made sure Rin wasn't hurt from his fall, just like him. We all laughed like we were crazy. After all, most people thought we were, so why not?

It felt so good to laugh.

"Were… (Pant)… are we going?" I asked; my voice so out of breath I could barely recognize it. My heart was throbbing from the rapid beats of it, but it felt happy. For the first time since Kikyo had died, I was free… Free. Such a word people take for granted. But each letter seemed like a dream to me. It had been a dream for so long, too. But now it was real.

We were free.

Inuyasha tilted his head back, his breath a bit rapid but back to normal. "Anywhere." He told us, looking at me. I smiled. The biggest smile in years. Crawling over to him I threw my arms around Rin and Inuyasha. He put his arm around my waste; Rin clutched the front of my shirt. I don't know why but we all laid on the ground, in the middle of those dense woods, and stared at the sky. Damn, I never really looked at the sky until that point. It seemed too vast, too huge.

"No more bad place." Rin told us.

Sango smiled and grabbed Rin's tiny hand. Miroku was resting his head on her flat stomach his fingers laced with Sango's free hand. I guess the freedom got to them right now too. She wasn't smacking him or screaming the word 'Pervert' in his general direction. She was letting him lay on her, their fingers intertwined. It was cute and beautiful all at the same time.

Inuyasha and I had both glanced at this and given respective smirks. Inuyasha then gave a chuckle. It was really cute on his low voice. "Getting a little cozy there, Sango and Miroku?" He asked.

Both shot up and blushed slightly.

I heard a dove chirp pleasantly somewhere to my left. "So…" I asked, finally finding my voice through the harsh breathing. Because they had forced all that food down my throat during my 'visit' I still had enough energy to talk. Normally I would have collapsed long ago.

"Where are we going?" I finished, pushing back my thoughts.

Sango and Miroku looked at each other, smiling. Sango then spoke, "Well, figuring that we can't go to Inuyasha's family because of Rin," to this Inuyasha nodded, "And we can't go to Kagome's either," I nodded, "Miroku and I were talking and decided that perhaps we could go stay with my brother for a little while."

"Your brother?" I asked. Sango didn't say much about her brother. He was just a big mystery. Then again, most of our pasts were. We just didn't talk about things that hurt. It was the way things worked. Well, before I guess.

I wondered for a split second if maybe that would change in the near future. Maybe I would tell everyone about Kikyo and about what Hojo did to both of us. Maybe I would cry out my tears till there were non left, and be able to put them in the past.

Maybe.

"Yes. His name is Kohaku and he's 15. I haven't seen him in an eternity." She sounded almost wistful.

"How can we stay with a 15 year old kid?" Inuyasha asked, holding Rin against him. She was leaning into his chest, watching the conversation.

"He's living with a foster family. I called and talked to them in our code for a couple of hours two weeks ago, when we started talking about actually doing this. I figured we'd need a place to stay and all I wanted to do was to get out for my sake, and for everyone else's." Sango supplied, "Oh, and it's already been approved by them too."

I smiled. "That's great."

Miroku smiled as well, just a little, "Yes, it is."

Rin giggled and sat up from her place on Inuyasha's chest. She took a dry leaf and crackled it in her palm, "So where is this place San-Chan?"

Sango looked down at the leaf that Rin was twiddling with. Her eyes seemed distant as if she was in deep though.

"That's the problem…" She said, sighing.

Inuyasha's ears perked up.

Problem?

Was it that he lived in Tokyo or something? I hated Tokyo so much and it was so far away. How would be we ever be able to get there? I calmed a bit though. A least we were out of that horrid ward. We were finally out, we were finally free, we finally able to be happy…

"It's in Kobe." Sango stated.

I sighed heavily, that comment taking all the joy I had been feeling in one swift kick. Inuyasha did the same, he probably felt just as I did. He was finally out and he could give Rin a normal life now, perhaps have a relationship with someone… maybe me… but Kobe? How could we ever get there? It was so far away.

"Damn." Miroku finally said after a moment of contemplation. Rin nodded. "Kobe is a far far away place. I remember studying it in class a long time ago." She didn't seem as concerned as we were though. In her innocent mind, we would find a way. Simple as that.

I agreed with Rin silently though. Kobe was far away. How could we ever get there? It was on the other side of Japan… They could probably take a train there but that cost money, which they didn't have any… we had no one to call and foreword us some cash, no car or friends to give us a lift…

Also, Kobe was near Osaka, where Kikyo and I had lived with father back when Sota was still alive. Back when those hateful memories where my reality, and all I knew in life. That was so long ago, back when I was still innocent.

I felt numb.

Memories began floating back at me… memories of Sota, Hojo, Kikyo, and all the people who I had been either unfortunate or fortunate to meet. Memories of Hojo holding me after beating me, how at the beginning of all this Kikyo and I had talked about actually moving to Kobe…

Could I handle it? Yes…

Yes, I had too. This was freedom, this was starting over in a place where if you cried you wouldn't be tranquilized and put in solitary. This was going to be a time where you could eat what you wanted, when you wanted, if you wanted.

I would be with all of these great new people, and I would be with Inuyasha.

"Would it be alright, really, to live with Kohaku?"

Sango smiled, "Of course, he's my family, and you're my family, so were all family!"

Miroku laughed. More silence… it was deafening but not awkward. Nothing could be awkward when you've seen hell with the people your with. What were they all thinking about at that moment I wonder… Probably how we were going to get there, maybe how we were going to live, where we would work, if this was even possible.

"Kohaku's foster family, the Koshiru's, own a restaurant and I'm sure they would give us jobs so that we could pay for them to live. They have a big roomy house and we could all stay with comfort… we could save up and eventually all go to maybe Sendai like we wanted to. That's close to the coast so Rin could swim…" Sango then spoke, trailing off.

Rin gave a huge smile, "Swimming! I've only gone to the beach once!"

Inuyasha gave a grin. "You could go to the beach whenever."

"Will we be able to make it?" I then asked, knowing my voice sounded distant. Inuyasha grabbed my hand and I twisted my fingers around his gently. He gave me a look that said so many things to me, but would look almost loving to anyone else.

"Yes, we will. We have a place we can go now, no matter how we get there, and we have a future, away from that fucking ward."

Sango giggled, "No more nasty food! No more checkups or solitary!"

Miroku grinned as well, "We can go to internet café's and look up PORN!" Sango and I quick glared at him.

"Porn?" Rin then asked, looking confused, "What's that? A kind of food?"

Inuyasha sighed. "Miroku, from this point on your not allowed to talk."

"Hey!" He cried, looking indigent. I then giggled.

"If were going to do this, lets get started." I then stated, standing up. The others' followed in my suit. We began walking, not caring what direction we were heading in, and I couldn't help but feel so unbelievably happy. I felt like for the first time in my life, I had been allowed something. I had been saved from something.

I wouldn't have to prostitute myself to get food, I wouldn't have to be abused, I wouldn't have to be caged in a place that I couldn't escape… We were going to Kobe now, no matter how we got there, we were heading for a new start.

We were finally free…


	16. Blue Sky

Chapter Sixteen: Blue Sky

XXX

The sky was blue. Bluer than Sango's eyes and bluer then the deepest ocean. It was aw-inspiring to me, at least. No clouds were rolling across the sky, and it I squinted my eyes hard enough, I bet I would have been able to see stars.

Sango smiled at me. She knew how pretty it was.

"Goddamn soda machine!" Miroku cried, kicking the damned machine. Inuyasha then slapped him. "Don't cuss in front of a child!" He yelled, his amber eyes blazing.

"It ate my 600yen!" Miroku said, looking as if he was about to cry.

Rin giggled, and took a bite of her soba noodles. We were stopped at a side-street restaurant that made pretty good takoyaki. We had dug through our pockets and pulled out a bit of money, enough to get Rin a decent meal and leave the others a little bit less satisfied. Not that they would say anything though, I don't really eat much and neither does Inuyasha. Sango would rather bite her tongue then watch Rin go hungry and Miroku had decided not to get anything though I knew I heard his stomach rumbling somewhere back in the woods. We had decided to walk most of the way, which was a LONG ass way, but oh well. We needed to get to Kobe.

The sky, it reminded me of Kikyo's eyes. I remember them, even though her voice is fading from my memory. Its scary, it's only been a short while since she died, but still.

_: "You bitch! Your gonna fucking regret that!" Hojo cried, as the mirror shattered slowly on the floor._

_  
"No! Hojo stop!" I cried, searing heat slamming into my wounded side and my bleeding heart.:_

I blinked and shook away those memories. No, not when my life was about to change. Things were gonna be different now. I was going to have happy memories. No Hojo, no Kikyo, no Sota, no father. Just my new family along with this Kohaku character. I wondered for a moment what he was going to be like but decided not to ask Sango. I would find out eventually, if we ever got there.

"Well," Sango then said, standing up and pulling her hair behind her head with a rubber band that was on her wrist, "do you think those shrinks are searching for us?"

"Probably." Miroku said, leaning back in his chair.

Inuyasha snorted and hugged Rin, who was sitting on his lap, a little closer. "Damn Dr. God. I hope those people rot."

I slapped his arm and he looked at me, confused. "You yelled at Miroku for cussing. Stop being a hypocrite." I told him, shaking my finger at him in my own way of reprimanding him. His eyes grew soft and warm and I turned away, feeling heat come to my cheeks.

_: "Fuck you!" Kikyo screamed, running away and disappearing into the rain. The godforsaken rain that would never end. :_

"Kagome? You ok?" Sango asked me.

"Hnn?" No. I wasn't ok. This sky, it was reminding me of things I want to bury. My past. Even after they are gone, people still haunt me. They haunt me and they torment me when I'm asleep and even when I'm awake. They don't leave and I hate those memories for it. I suddenly have the urge to do something crazy, like get some sake and fuck myself up. I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember.

"Sometimes you get this look on your face like your thinking about something sad." Miroku told me. Yes, I'm sure I did. I glanced off at the sky and gave a smile to no one. I would allow them to know something about me, just to get them off my back.

"This sky, it reminds me of my sister's eyes." I told them.

Rin glanced at me, confused. "You had a sister, Kago-ne-chan?"

"Yah, her name was Kikyo."

"What happened to her?" Rin asked, innocently enough.

_: I was dressed in black and it was the most beautiful fall day. I hated it. Tears ran down my face as I watched Kikyo's lifeless form be carried away by the medical people. The cops were standing around me, taking notes and whatnot of what had happened. Lights, sirens, they were all around me but I couldn't see or hear them. _

_  
My sister was dead. My sister…: _

"That's enough, Rin." Inuyasha told her. I glanced at him, hoping my eyes showed him how thankful I was for him to be there, next to me, alive. Would he leave me to? I could almost see it, his dead body being carried away. The funeral, the sad words that are just a load of bullshit.

'He was a good person'

'He will be missed.'

_:'Kikyo lived her time as well as she could. She's in a better place now.'_

_No! She's not! She's fucking dead and she's not coming back! She's a rotting fucking corpse beneath the ground:_

It could just as well be Inuyasha, or Rin for that matter. Maybe Sango, or Miroku. Maybe I would be the first of us to die…

"Let's go. We have about a twelve hour walk ahead of us, and by the time we get there I have a feeling that I'll be passing out." Sango told us with a smirk, "Exercise isn't really my thing."

I nodded, sympathizing for her. I knew that sooner or later my already weak body would collapse from exhaustion. It would be either me or Inuyasha. We were too thin for such a long journey. My stomach was clenching, like cramps, but the dead feeling of emptiness was soothing.

_: "Come back! Please! I can't live here alone! KIKYO!" : _

This would be a new life. I new place for us. I smiled. "There is a shrine a little ways from here. Let's go and pray for safety first." I told them. Inuyasha looked at me. "How'd you know that?"

"The sign right there." I pointed behind him where a huge sign with Kanji and a tree told about the Koshinko shrine a mile away where people pray for safety. Inuyasha sighed. "Alright." Then he glanced down at Rin's head and up at me. "For our new future."

Sango giggled, and we were on our way again.

Please God, protect them. Those who I only just met, but those who I care about more than I care about my life…


	17. Hypocrite

Chapter Seventeen: _Hypocrite _

XXX

When I woke up, I could almost smell rice boiling and my sisters' perfume wafting around me like an exotic aroma. I could almost hear her humming the lullaby she learned as a child. I could almost hear Sota clapping his hands and munching on his cereal bits.

I could almost feel the smooth blanket of my childhood surrounding me with protection. Then I woke up, and for a while sat in that strange daze that comes from being half awake and half asleep. My body felt soar, my stomach felt very empty, and my eyes blacked out again for almost ten minutes.

I put my hands over my eyes to cover the sun and rolled over. I heard snoring from behind me and crunching underneath me. All of us were in a small clearing in some woods. Sango and Rin had both gotten pretty tired so Inuyasha found us this clearing and we decided to camp out.

Almost like in the old days, but more wild.

There were bits of leaves in my hair and I brushed them out and leaned against a tree, letting the others sleep. Birds whistled off in the background and I closed my eyes. I wish I would dream about Kikyo anymore.

It hurt.

I wished I had some drugs or something so I could get fucked up. I wanted to snort cocaine, shoot heroin, smoke pot, or take twenty rolls. I wanted to be so fucked up that I didn't know I was fucked up. Then I wanted to go wild and scream and cry and be crazy. So much so that people thought I should be in a loony bin and then I would laugh and say I ran away from the last one.

I want them to stare and I want to dance in front of Inuyasha. Dance like I used to when I was a child and me and Kikyo would turn on the radio in front of the neighborhood boys and we would make up strange dances to American tunes and we would kiss them and run away. It's queer, how I forgot about that until now. A childhood knowledge and saying came back to me, it was from a movie I had once seen; "Once you meet someone, you never really forget them, it just takes a while for your memory to return."

It was true.

I heard a rustling and saw Rin open her eyes slowly. She looked adorable with her hair tousled and her fists clenched around Inuyasha's sweatshirt.

"Kagome?" She asked, her words slurred by her sleepiness.

"Yah, Rin?"

"Cold." I smiled at her childish innocence. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I pulled off my jean jacket and lay it across her then leaned over and kissed her. Inuyasha rolled over, taking Rin with him and they huddled together for warmth. After I took of the jacket, I got bumps on my arms and I shivered from the morning cold.

Sango woke up soon after, and we searched for a small stream or creek to wash up in before the males woke up.

"I feel like a fucking woodland-man from the feudal era." Sango told me, glaring at the freezing cold water that we splashed on our faces and down our arms. I smiled, and agreed with her, trying not to get her on another one of her rants. Sango hated cold water. When they had often stared at the plastic mirrors that were in their bathrooms they had cold water that goes with it. Bad memories.

For just a little while ago, thoughts still fresh in her mind, she was controlled by people who didn't give a rat's ass about her. In the crazy bin were fondling breasts was indicated as, "heavy petting…"

About an hour later they managed to get Inuyasha and Miroku up somewhat, and they started to walk again. Northwest of the sun, and every so often they would stop at some random gas filling station and ask about the town next to Kobe. The institute was probably searching for them with flyers or something like that; after all it probably didn't look good for the institute to lose five different people. Bad public image, and all.

The long walk ached my muscles, and I found myself on Inuyasha's back because I couldn't get any farther. I was starting to black out a lot more and I was starting to get faint. Inuyasha could tell and he sympathized, knowing the feeling. Sango asked if we wanted to stop for a while, and I felt like such a fucking idiot, starving myself to the point where I couldn't walk.

But then again, I wouldn't stop either.

I'm such a hypocrite.

Then, before I knew it, I fell asleep on his back. I don't really know quite how long I slept, but when I woke up the first thing I saw was Sango looking scared shitless and Inuyasha hustling me and Rin behind a tree. He looked scared too. My half asleep alertness caused me to be slower than usual, and when I finally saw what they were staring at with such fear, my body tensed and the first thought that came to my mind was, "**FUCK**!"


	18. Brother

Chapter Eighteen: _Brother_

XXX

"This is the police! Please ID yourselves!" A tall and broad shouldered man was standing in front of us. He had a flashlight in his hand even though it wasn't dark, and he had an unfriendly looking face that was in a frown. Besides the traditional Japanese features, his hair was long and pulled back behind his head, almost reminding me of that fucking nurse that stared at me.

"Sir, we are just walking to school. Oh, I'm Yuka." Sango told him standing in front of me and smiling at him, looking unconcerned despite that fact that this could mean us being sent back to the ward. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest. Rin was clutching to my left had and Inuyasha's right hand, trying to hide herself behind our thin forms. I think each one of us were more nervous than the last.

"Without your uniform?" The cop asked, a look of disbelief on his face. His frown deepened a little more.

"Yah," I told him, smiling. "My name is Sakura Seishiro, sir. We have to travel through the woods to our school each morning, and we sometimes get wood ticks if we travel in skirts and short sleeves." I lied easily, pasting a convincing friendly smile on my face.

Inuyasha sighed before continuing, "Have we done anything wrong, officer?"

The man looked at each of us with an immense amount of suspicion on his face. He glanced down at Rin too. "No, not really, it's just that it is rather suspicious to be traveling in the woods with a little girl in tow." That was a reasonable suspicious, I guess.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "This is my little sister, Karren. She goes to the primary school. My mom doesn't like her to travel alone so we take her each morning. That's why we are a little early."

Sango nodded and Miroku decided to keep his mouth shut. The officer then sighed, and put his hands on his hips. "Alright, I guess that sounds about right. It's just that we have so many runaways that come through here and we can never tell who's who. You attend Hori Private, right?"

That sounded not right to me, Hori Private was in Kyoto. "Hori Private? No sir, that's in Kyoto." I told him, scrunching up my eyebrows. The man finally smiled. "Just checking. Most runaways don't know that. How do you?"

I couldn't tell him that Kikyo and I once slept inside the bathrooms of that school when we were young and on the run, back before Hojo met us. It had been raining and we had hustled in through and open window. It had been scary to sleep in such a big school like that, and we knew that if anyone would have found us we would have been in lots of trouble. It was the only place we could go.

"I considered that as an option for high school." I told him instead.

He turned around, luckily, and waved from behind. We all looked at each other, nervous, and scared. Good thing we were convincing liars.

"Lying isn't good, Sakura-chan." Sango told me after the officer was walking back down the road, out of hearing reach. I smiled at her.

"How did you know about Hori Private?" Miroku asked me, looking at me with suspire. He looked tired and drained. I was pretty sure that if he looked that bad that I must look like hell. Inuyasha picked up Rin in his arms and looked at me also. Rin looked a bit red in the face, like she was coming down with a cold. It must have been all the cold nights sleeping in the woods. I hoped that she wasn't too sick; kids had such frail immune systems.

"I just did." I said, trying to smile but failing miserably at it. We started walking again. I was so tired. My stomach was churning with emptiness and my head was dizzy. There were black spots in my vision and I felt a little nauseous from all this physical activity. We had been traveling for three day and that last meal I had eaten was at the ward. I was probably coming down with a cold as well.

I bit my tongue though, because I didn't want to say anything. I kept telling myself, 'I don't want to cause them any trouble…' and the next thing I knew, I had blacked out.

XXX

I was surrounded by warmth when I woke up. I saw a brown ceiling with takatami mats neatly in a row. There was a light to my left and an alarm clock a little past it. The time was 2:24PM. I was fuzzy with unrecognition until I felt a cool hand on my head.

I looked above and saw Inuyasha's warm amber eyes.

"Feeling better?" he asked me, amusement in his tone. He looked adorable right then, looking down at me with his charming features and his soft smile that he really only had on when he was completely content. He never had smiled like that.

"Huh?" I asked, still hazy.

"You and Rin both caught yourself nasty colds. Were in Sango's brother's house now."

"In Kobe?"

"Yep. You've been asleep for about a day now."

I sat up, in surprise, the information finally seeping in. The sleepiness I felt went away suddenly, and I felt a large pounding in my head. My body felt achy, and my eyes felt heavy. My cheeks also felt warm.

"But we were at least 12 miles away from Kobe…"

He smiled, "I carried Rin and Miroku carried you. He was tough, and I made sure he didn't grope you or anything.

"Oh, your awake!" Sango appeared in the doorway, holding a mug with an anime character scribbled on the side. She stepped into the room and sat next to me.

"We were pretty worried about you when you fell yesterday. You hit the ground so hard. Dammit girl, you should have told us you weren't feeling good!" Sango scolded me.

"Sorry, Sango. Does your brother mind us being here?" I asked.

"Don't worry about that. Just get better. Remember, we are finally free from that fucking ward and now we have a place to stay! Once you and Rin get all better, we'll go down to the lake and go fishing! I can't wait till you meet my onee-san, but that can wait." Sango said in one breath. She often talked a lot, even to herself, and she had the whole speed talking ability down pat.

Inuyasha stroked my hair with his long nails. "Get some sleep for now. When you wake up, we'll make you some leek soup. Leek's are gross, but they are the best remedy for the cold."

I felt tired, and didn't fight as he gently pushed my shoulders back down. The bedding I was in was warm and soft, so I didn't fight it. I fell into a blissfully blank sleep moments later.


End file.
